My Old Burton Jacket...Tag

The tag from my old snowboarding jacket is very valuable and important.  I'm not sure why I kept the tag since I still have the actual Jacket.

It really is and was a kickass snowboarding jacket.  It's simple, it's not tight and cut for ridiculously skinny girls, but it's not an oversized boy jacket either.  It has pockets in all the right places and I wore that thing into the ground.  Its biggest downfall is that it doesn't have a hood.  It was from the first few generations of Burton jackets that started putting the thumbhole sleeves so you don't get wet and chilly wrists.  And it's old enough that the pocket that is clearly designed for ipods in snowboarding jackets now is very clearly designed for a Discman (depicted on the tag I kept).

That jacket went to Iceland and back with my sister and was worn snowboarding all over New England.  It's lost most of its gusto and most of it's waterproofing but I have it around just in case.  I'm sure that will see Goodwill after the winter when I move to a land of no winter, but I'll start today with the tag.

Fine Jewelry

I had my left shoulder operated on, but before that I had to have an arthrogram which is a disgusting procedure.  Not so much physically as just the whole creepy idea of it.  I'm so happy I kept my bracelet from the hospital mixed in with so many fun memories.  I bet if I keep going, the bracelet from the actual surgery has to be in one of these boxes!

I guess it was important since the results finally got me the surgery that I knew I needed for well over a year, but that surgery was six years ago, so I think I'm ready to get rid of the pre-op procedure bracelet.  If doing so might mean I can't remember I had surgery, I can always look for the scars.

Guitar Hero Wrist Watch Game

This Bad Larry is a tough one to throw away.  That's right.  It's a Guitar Hero wrist watch game from Burger King (I think?).  This game sucks for so many reasons:

ONE: It's really hard to play with only one hand, rendering the whole wrist watch concept pretty useless.

TWO:  It's poorly made and hard to play because it's crappy and came free with a cheeseburger, soda and fries with a retail value of three bucks.

THREE: Considering it's a rip off of a music video game, IT DOESN'T HAVE ANY SOUND.

Goodbye frustrating Guitar Hero wrist watch game.  You were helpful during the first few drafts of pirates when I would find you on my desk during cramped writer's block, but I have no room for you in my grown up writer life.  Aside from this moment in time in which I am writing about you of course. 

Damn.  You were useful up until your final moments. 

Orange Spoon?

I know some of you are reading along and laughing every step of the way and are not acknowledging the crappy side being that I ACTUALLY HAVE ALL OF THESE THINGS IN MY POSSESSION.  I know some of you ARE and this all becomes significantly less funny.

Well, nay-sayers, I'm with you on this one.  This orange plastic spoon was snug in the back corner of one of the boxes with no marks of any kind as to why I would have thought it was important to keep.  It's clean.  And it's orange, which is pretty rad, but all things considered, this is just a plastic spoon.  Generally I hang on to things as mementos and keepsakes to remember times I really enjoyed, but this one has me completely stumped.  And it wouldn't be fun or funny to pass it on to anyone.  This is just weird.

Maybe I planned to eat the Corn Pops with it?

Bud Light Beads

This charming string of Bud Light Mardi Gras beads is broken.  Even if I wanted to wear it as a necklace, I can't.  Maybe that's a good thing since I know I would be tempted.

These were a party favor on New Years Eve in Orlando Florida.  Denise, EB, Jess and myself went to Florida for New Years one year and it was a really strange trip but also a total blast.  It was a last hurrah girls weekend before we parted ways and started our lives all over the place and tried to grow out of college a little.  And we wanted to go to Sonic.

We were in a wonderfully tacky white trash karaoke bar and we were drinking a lot.  The majority of the crowd was over forty and the DJ was all over the four of us since we were remotely in his age bracket.  We were showered in free party favors like this string of quality beads.  We had crowns and noise makers and whatever we wanted.  I remember getting up to sing karaoke and remembering that I loved it.  It was the beginning of an era at the mic that I think is still in full swing, I just don't practice much anymore.  Maybe as I put these beads in the trash, I will avenge their death by going to karaoke bars more often.

Goodbye, Bud Light beads.  We had a lot of fun together.

Another Box

This box offers promise.  If you can't make out all of the writing on it, it reads "One of those boxes of nostalgia and shit you don't need but can't part with that's really fun to go through late at night."

I can hardly wait to get started.

Star Performer

I can only begin to speculate what performance this might have been for.  I know I have been hanging on to it hoping to give it to someone for something, but come on.  This thing is lame. 

I have a sinking suspicion and a nagging half-memory coming to the surface right now that says I never even actually was awarded this star for any sort of performance and that my mother gave it to me to use for just such an instance of awarding it to someone else. 

I guess the fist step is admitting you have a problem.  The second step is telling everyone about it in detail on the internet.

Disclaimer

I am totally getting rid of and donating and throwing away large and practical items in the background.  I hope that none of you are reading this and shaking your head saying, "Damn, girl.  Glad you're moving to Los Angeles with one less lighter!"  I'm only posting about the particularly funny, bizarre or sentimental items I find.  I don't think anyone cares that I donated some CD racks to Goodwill and threw away some old shoes and things like that.

So don't worry.  You won't have to hear about the bags of donated clothes or the disposal of old trunks and printers I don't need.  You're only getting the good stuff.  Or the really bad stuff.

I Fall For MTV Marketing

If MTV U didn't come to your college, don't feel too let down.  When they came to UMass and we went down to check it out, I remembered that what was cool about MTV U (one of the eight MTV channels that was supposed to be for and about college students, not sure if it still exists as I don't have cable) was the new music segments and the old 90s videos they played and that I otherwise had nothing to associate with it.

Typical stuff.  There was a rock climbing wall, they (poorly) made us t-shirts, and we got to make shrinky-dink key chains.  Yes, folks, the people who brought you "MTV Spring Break!" with rump shaking contests and whipped cream bikini wrestling, Singled Out with tongue in cheek sexual questions, blatantly offensive (and awesome) Beavis and Butthead and the unsung and shockingly deep Daria had us fighting over colored pencils to make shrinky-dink key chains and we all totally fell for it!  It was the most popular booth in the whole field. 

It was a really nice spring day, I remember that, and I want with EB and Jess to investigate.  I think I can live on without this key chain for now.

Runnin' With The Devil!

Okay fine, I smoked cigarettes for a really long time.  I have quit (again) and after some horror stories from the dentist recently, I think this time is for keeps.  Hurray!

Part of me wants to keep this lighter anyway because of how simply awesome it is.  But the best part about it is that when I purchased it, it had a weird puffy smiley face sticker on it that I thought was the fun part.  It hails from the famous 711 with the Citgo station on Rt 116 in Sunderland right across the street from Plum Tree Road which intersected with the famed Silver Lane of my college years.

I smoked countless cigarettes and drank countless beers on that porch.  I remember picking at the smiley on the front and realizing it was a sticker.  I picked and picked and what was underneath?  An amazing motorcycle graphic and "Runnin' with the Devil!"

Exclamation Point!

I thought and still think that this is positively delightful and it hurts me to get rid of this hilarious surprise.  I have many other novelty lighters and no more cigarettes to light, so this will be the first to go.  Goodbye wonderful treat.  Goodbye terrible habit.

In The Back Of A Volkswagon?

My first car was a 1995 Volkswagon Jetta.  It was green.  It was a 5 speed.  It had manual everything and a clock on the dashboard that only the driver could see and I would always have to tell the time to the passenger and this particularly bothered my sister.  I bought it on my seventeenth birthday and sold it the day I moved to North Carolina when I was twenty-three for six hundred dollars to a kid in mechanic school.

I loved that car.  It was always a challenge to get it inspected or to find parts for it.  It was shockingly heavy for it's size and it kicked ass in the winter.

What does this have to do with the above photo you ask?

This is the remote control to the radio in that car. 

Now.  I don't know how many of you have been inside of a Volkswagon, but I think Mall Rats had it right that it is an uncomfortably small place to be or to do anything.  Also, I had very, very few friends who couldn't reach the dashboard from the back seat.  I have no idea why a car that small required a remote for the stereo.  It was a brand new stereo that the dealership installed for me and maybe they were trying to impress a young teen (they probably saw the strap on my messenger bag and knew I listened to loud music after all), but this right here is excessive.

And speaking of excessive, I STILL HAVE IT!  Jeeze Louise.  Goodbye silly VW remote.  You will forever be able to change the volume on my pop punk CDs from the back seat.

Marshfield High School Superbowl 1995

 Don't even try to tell me you can pick up a pompom without giving it a heart felt shake.

I have always enjoyed a sense of pride and ownership that comes with cheering for the home team, but it usually fades after the game ends.  I've never been crazy about following sports, but I have a razor sharp competitive edge that can be turned on at will.  I have been to way more football games than is probably expected, but the catch of course is the nine years of marching band I participated in.

This particular shaker, regardless of the fact that it is my high school colors and indeed spent some time waving its green and white for the Marshfield High School Rams, has proof stamped right on it that I was not even a Marshfield High School Ram at the time.

1995?! Seriously.  I was in Fifth grade.  Sarah graduated in 1994 (I think?) so that means Becky was a freshman in the Marshfield High School Rams Marching Band.

I'm sure I was at this football game because Becky was in the half time show.  I doubt I understood the rules to football yet, but I knew I wanted to be in the marching band for sure.  I think hanging on to my diploma is sufficient enough Marshfield High pride and this pompom can shake it's heart out as it gets melted down and recycled. 

Star Wars Things Are Hard To Get Rid Of #2

A snap bracelet.  And not just a snap bracelet but a Darth Maul snap bracelet.

I'm not sure where along the line I acquired this gem, but I sure as hell know why I kept it.  It no longer snaps and is awkwardly small, so I think the time has come to send this guy on to the big toy box in the sky.

I know for a long time when the prequels were out, Star Wars paraphernalia was getting handed out left and right from fast food chains.  If there's anything I love as much as I love Star Wars, it's fast food.  I might just be a fourteen year old boy.

I had this bracelet in one hand and two projector slides with scenes from the original trilogy in the other hand and told myself I had to make a decision because there isn't room in the grown up life I'm building for both.  I think the decision is clear.  Darth Maul isn't as cool as Lando Calrissian, and even though I don't own a slide projector, having slides from your favorite movie is a lot more acceptable when you're a grown up than having a snap bracelet from your favorite movie is.

May the force be with you at the dump, Darth Maul.  Even though you pissed all over it when you became a Sith. 

Best Western Mint

Nothing says class like a free mint.

I've stayed at many a Best Western in my travels but I guess whatever I time I stayed there and got a mint, I was particularly impressed.  If I wasn't alone, I'd offer five bucks to anyone with me to eat it, but paying myself five bucks seems lousy.

Goodbye, petrified mint.  I'll get another some day to replace you.

Julia Stiles

Oh, Julia Stiles.  One of my first huge crushes I didn't understand.  I found this random and admittedly, not very attractive, magazine cut out of Miss Stiles between graduation cards and my old retainer (stay tuned!).

I loved 10 Things I Hate About You.  I own it on VHS and I have the soundtrack.  I was exactly the right age and exactly not cool enough and at exactly the right point in my guitar lessons to just thing that movie was the total balls.  I struggled inwardly that I had way more of an affinity for Julia Stiles and a grown up Alex Mack than I did for heath Ledger, but such is the closeted teen. 

I also loved the hell out of the terrible movie she was in with Freddie Prince Junior right after, Down To You, which I also own on VHS.  I have no idea what Julia Stiles is up to now and I'm kind of curious to know.  I wonder if she's a good actress or if she's just a babe.  I don't think I need this picture of her anymore.  So Long, Julia.  We had a nice run.

Ginger Spice Pop

Believe it or not, I had a hard time deciding whether or not this needed to go in the trash.  I'm still on the fence as to whether it belongs in the scrap book I'm putting together during the process or the garbage, but the whole point is to let it live on here, and not on my shelves.

Ginger Spice was always my favorite.  Let's face facts: she's the hot one.  She was also the only one to have a successful solo career.  And her lollipop is red, and red is always the best flavor.  I'm glad that this is an "official product" as stated on the package, and what has me the most upset about getting rid of this packaging is that the one of twenty-four stickers to collect that is supposed to be inside is long gone.

Good bye, Ginger Spice.  Don't worry.  I still have your CD.

Power Puff Girl Balloon

I used to really like the Power Puff Girls.  Martha always did too.  I feel like I was a little old to be liking them as much as I did, but that cartoon was funny and interesting even if the voices were obnoxious.  I love that the recipe for super human little girls is Sugar, Spice, Everything Nice and CHEMICAL X.  The villains were always interesting and the robots were always cool.  And evil green monkey in a turban is excellent.  I loved the mayor and his faceless boobilicious assistant.  That show had a lot going for it. I don't recall which birthday this was for, but it could have been a gift any time from thirteen to nineteen.  It no longer needs to be neatly folded at the bottom of the box.

Lost Ambition

When Ski Market closed, I looted the place clean (with permission).  I left no box of Band Aids behind.  I took every pen, pencil and roll of scotch tape.  I grabbed Rubbermaid bins full or file folders and wrenches and clip boards and coffee filters and ice cube trays and screw drivers.  Toilet paper and paper towels.  Bottle openers and coozies with various brands of kayaks and skis left behind for years by reps.  Show laces long forgotten in back stock.  Promotional sport water bottles with the Ski Market logo on them that were about to become obsolete.  All of that stuff costs money and all of it was all up for grabs.  My Mama didn't raise no fool.

One afternoon when I was looting the work shop for snowboard wax and a scraper I noticed a giant pile of mix CDs that had built up over the years.  The work benches were close to bare by that time, so I figured these had been left behind.  Knowing I was about to be unemployed, I thought it would be grand to go through them all and figure out what the songs and were and import them all into my Itunes with gusto and excitement.  The thrill of building my library!  Learning new music and having it change my unemployed life!  I was never gonna be bored!

That was two years ago and I only ever made it through a few of the disks.  A lot of them are burned or have wax on them and even more of the songs have no words in them so I can't use google to figure it out.  I have come to terms with the fact the all of the music here will remain a mystery.  Good bye Work Shop Soundtrack.  Most of you will live on forever in my subconscious, but not on my Ipod.

Star Wars Things Are Hard To Get Rid Of #1

I always find it really hard to part with Star Wars paraphernalia.  I think it's my favorite entertainment franchise of all time and whenever anyone asks me what my favorite movie is, I always stay "Star Wars.  All six of them.  Even the prequels that nobody likes."

Star Wars was the first thing I really developed a geek obsession with.  For nerds, your first franchise love is just as important as the first love of your life.  Star Wars makes me feel good and warm and safe.  I've loved it since I was a little girl.  It reminds me of my dad and most of my favorite friends have all shared a similar love for it.  I was Han Solo for Halloween last year.  I have the Encyclopedia.  I read the books in junior high.  I was writing Star Wars fan fiction before I even knew what fan fiction was.  I used to know the ins and outs of the entire Star Wars universe better than my own family tree.  I've only ever lost Star Wars trivial pursuit one time in my life.  The page of my dairy from my thirteenth birthday is a one page illustration exclaiming how thrilled I was to receive Star Wars Monopoly.

However, I'm in a relationship with someone who neither obsesses over nerdy things, nor has she seen the Star Wars movies.  We watched The Empire Strikes Back (best one) one night when I was really upset, but we both fell asleep.  Since it's dark most of the time for the next four months here in Maine, I'm sure I will be trading romantic comedies for science fiction, but stuff like this little piece has got to go. 

Glow In The Dark Always Gets Kept

The size of this delightful specimen leads me to believe it came in a plastic bubble and was purchased with a quarter in the entry way of a grocery store.  There is also likely suspicion that it came from my brief arcade days at the Hanover Mall.  And there was that string of birthday parties I went to at Star Land, but the memory has faded even though this little guy hung around next to the facts about Nantucket. 

I can see why it was so hard to part with.  It glows in the dark after all.

Corn Pops?

I would love to know what makes this fun sized box of Corn Pops so important.  I figured it had to be in another language or something fabulous when I saw it in the box, but damn, it appears I'm just a friggin' weirdo.  I searched the box for clues.  No special edition, all in English, nothing marking any significance of any kind.

Memories lost.  Gross memories.  Time for the trash.

Intersting Fact About Nantucket

"The waters of Nantucket have one of the most abundant supplies of scallops and bluefish in the world."

This is fascinating information and I am so glad I hung onto this bottle cap for all of these years.  Please use this information to impress your friends at cocktail parties because I suspect I will forget this fact since I'm going to throw this bottle cap away now.

Southwest Airlines Party Favor

There are two flights that this novelty Southwest Airlines puzzle might be from:

Possible Flight Number One:  Family trip to California to attend my cousin Greg's wedding.  I was a senior in High School and my mother and my Aunt Jan were very proud of the "Friends Fly Free!" deal they found on Southwest Airlines, but kept pronouncing it "Fleinds Fry Flee!" and having a grand laugh.  My father also won a trivia contest on the flight across the country and the fabulous prize he won was a giant trash bag filled with Southwest Airlines peanuts.  He was thrilled.  I was disappointed.  My mother was grossed out and made him throw it away in the San Jose Airport.

Possible Flight Number Two:  School band trip to Disney World.  I feel like I got airline wings on that flight that will probably show up later on this project.  I don't remember much about that flight aside from the fact that I had the flu for a week prior and was nervous I was going to throw up in front of all of my friends.  I had thrown up for days leading up to it, and after the first day, my mom didn't even help me or hold my hair because I was "Gonna be in college soon and you're gonna have to learn to take care of that yourself".

My money is on Flight Number One.  Seeing as though I cannot even solve this puzzle, today it gets tossed.

Mini Cooper Road Game Wheel

When I found this in the box, I had to have a talk reminding myself that I'm supposed to be getting rid of things, not finding new places in my heart for them to collect dust.

I must have cut this out of a magazine as I was big on that before I could drive and go buy stuff.  It has a series of fun and funny road games to play.  With a road trip from Maine to Los Angeles in my distant future, I felt like maybe I should keep this.  Then I remembered I probably have an app for this that's way better in my iphone and by the time I was making the trip, if I saved every scrap of "important" paper, there would be no room for Julie in the car and she would be mad and I would have to play the road trip games alone which is crazy and sad.

Alas, Mini Cooper road game wheel.  We part ways today.  Enjoy being recycled.

Starlit Serenade

Judging by the date on this, it has to be from my eighth grade semi-formal.

I don't recall it being called anything so glamorous as a Starlit Serenade, but I guess the sparkly star doesn't lie.  I do, however remember that my dress was green and unappealing and that Chris Lukos was my date and neither of us wanted to go but felt like we had to.  He wore a red t-shirt under his black vest and we ended up having a fun time.  I don't know why we would've received stars with our names on them as party favors (pretty lame party favor!) but I guess I wanted to keep it so that I might conjure up memories of  standing by the wall in the cafeteria talking about drama club, the upcoming summer, and how no one could believe Martha bought a pink dress, including Martha.

I have a few fabulous pictures from this evening as well that depict all of us standing there.  We weren't big dancers and we were too busy loving our ska music to know any of the current hits.  I feel like it was a bad era for hits anyway. 

Plastic Handcuffs?

I wish I knew why I had these.

They're plastic.  This is exactly why I'm doing this project.  I don't know why I have these, where they came from, nor why I have felt the need to hang onto them for so long.  I keep swearing I'll need things like plastic handcuffs, but so far I have not felt the need.  I also think I am at the point in my life where I can spend a dollar ninety-nine on a new pair if the situation should creep up on me unexpectedly.

The only possible thing I can think of is that they came from the drama club somewhere along the line.  We were into giving each other silly presents that meant so much in the moment, but by the time the spring musical rolled around, your plastic handcuffs found their way to the bottom of your Doc Martins Box.

Messenger Bag Strap

This charming collection was neatly secured in a ziplock bag.  I remember it well.  This is everything that was pinned or sewn onto the strap of my messenger bag in early high school.

I had the trademark behavior of the age and advertised the bands I was listening to everywhere possible.  Reel Big Fish I definitely still love, but I laugh now at how important I felt Kicked In The Head and The Sellouts were.  Definitely fun, but not worthy of the Till-I-Die praise I offered at the time.  I'm still convinced mom threw away my Kicked In The Head t-shirt when I wasn't looking.  As for the W.W.J.D. bracelet, it was a gift from a friend at Jesus Camp (Group Work Camps, Christian-based Habitat For Humanities type camp).  I never knew how to believe in something like that, so I put my faith in ska and punk and hung on to the sentiment.

It was important to remember my own name, as I did in beads sewn on, as well as the time since I felt it important to sew the old face of my childhood swatch watch onto the strap as well.  It also seemed very important (doubly important, even) that I went to the Hard Rock Cafe even though I have no recollection of ever going there until I was a senior in high school and at that point I was far cooler and wore my Burton Snowboards back pack to school.  Those pins remain a mystery.

The bag itself is long gone and I think I hung onto this small set of memories as a price of donating the bag to goodwill.  It was navy blue and it had a few light blue flowers on it and I bought it at Pacific Sunwear.  I felt that since I was very rock and roll and anti-conformity (even thought I wasn't really sure what that meant at the time), I definitely couldn't be carrying my L.L. Bean backpack that had my initials on it and I definitely needed a messenger bag.  I was a damn fool because nothing fit in it and I had just started advanced placement classes which pretty much required luggage to take the books home.

And I wore this bag over my green high school varsity letterman jacket.  So much for being anti.

Doc Box

There are a half dozen shoe boxes to go through , but the box alone is important here.

My mother bought me this pair of Doc Martin boots for "back to school" in eighth grade at Newbury Comics and I couldn't have felt more awesome at the time.  I had to have them because Becky had them.
I'm still wearing them.  I started eighth grade thirteen years ago.  There is little to nothing left of them and they're worn unevenly because I walk unevenly.  They also still boast their original laces, one of which I can't really tie because I broke it.

There are two very distinct scuff marks on the toes of my boots from the very first time I ever got drunk.  I was visiting my sister at RISD and I think I was fifteen.  I tripped on a sidewalk coming home from a party at someone's house before turning her bedroom into a half-assed Discovery Zone with foam mats and jumping off her bed and encouraging everyone on the floor to do it with me.  I remember that I hadn't worn them very much yet and that Mom was going to be so mad that I put two huge scratches in the toes of my boots.

 I also remember I was at the height of cool and the CD I had in my Discman (yes, that's right) at the time was a highlight CD from The Brak Show, a Space Ghost spin-off.  It wasn't cool enough to have a random CD from an underground cartoon.  I had to have the CD from the under ground spin-off.

I have worn those boots all over the country now and parts of Canada.  I feel that they should be on this blog somewhere too, but for now, I'll just get rid of the box.

And So It Begins

I am a woman of too much stuff.  I have moved everything I own a dozen times or so in the past ten years and the amount continues to grow. I am well aware of it being excessive, but the bulk of it is very carefully organized so I don't think I have a psychological problem, I'm just running out of space.  I have a large move across the country planned for the end of the summer and the more you move the more it costs, so the time has come to really get down to it and throw a lot of things away.

But it's just so hard.

I have worked diligently on downsizing but it doesn't come easy.  I try to do well with keeping things carefully organized and boxed and labeled.  I think this attitude comes from my mother who just might be Mary Poppins.  No matter what the situation calls for (Halloween costume, home decor or simply a well played punch line) she more often than not will say "Oh, I have that!"  She knows exactly where it is every time.  I don't know where it comes from because her home is very simple and very sparse.

 The fact that I feel the need to save things definitely comes from my dad.

So the time has come to put my foot down on all the collecting ( polite term for hording).  I've decided to rid of stuff.  So that every little thing I've felt the need to keep over the past twenty years doesn't go completely forgotten, I thought I could take a picture of it and pay homage in a few digital paragraphs so that my attachment to every whacky McDonald's toy, Special Edition Star Wars TV Guide and paper bracelet from bracelet day at the Marshfield Fair may live on forever.